The end of an era... and pictures!

Hello again.

So, almost exactly one year ago today, I was "surfing the web," as the cool kids say, and I stumbled across the site 43 Things. Now, I'm as much for goal setting as the next guy, but I wasn't about to go write a list of 43 things I wanted to do and then post them online. However, I was *very* bored, so I made a list, folded it up, and stuck it in my wallet, where it remains today. As of this precise moment, I have completed three of those 43 things. Well, sort of three and two halves, but that's too complicated to explain. In case you were wondering (and I know you were), some of my "Things" include visiting the Galapagos Islands, owning a horse, making my own paper, and learning how to tie a Windsor Knot. So, real Earth-shattering things we're talkin' about here.

Anyway, #11 on the list--which I have now had the extreme satisfaction of crossing off--was "Find one thing every day that makes me happy and record it for a year." I know. It's a bit new-agey, all bubble baths and Enya and finding my chakra. But despite the extreme schmaltz factor (gnfab?), it was actually a really fun exercise. I stapled six pieces of paper together and toted it around for a full year. And this list went everywhere with me. This list has enough frequent flier miles to book its own vacation. And it has enough memories to make even the most Tin Man-esque of us all (Chi) shed a bit of a tear. Yeah, it's been a good year.

Proof that The Happy List exists:


Further proof:
So, yeah. That's it. Handwritten, front and back, pretty much one day per line (though some days required two). 366 entries (pesky leap year). I'm thinking about getting it laminated. Or framed. Or something. Either way, it's an accomplishment. Doing things over the span of one year always feels good. In high school, I didn't eat red meat for the year. As soon as that quest was over (my first meal back was a McDonald's hamburger--hardly red meat, I know), I decided not to drink pop for a year. And then the third year, I wanted to not eat candy, but could never agree with myself on the definition of candy (does gum count? What about mints? These are tough questions).

I highly recommend that everyone start a Happy List. It takes a lot of dedication, and many have attempted this quest and failed (Marielle, Megan, I feel for you). But it's worth it in the end. Maybe some day I'll comb through it and compile a list of people who made The List, and we can see once and for all who makes me The Most Happy. Place your bets now...

In other news, I chopped off all my hair. Or, 10-12 inches of it at least. I love it, but you all are the ultimate judge and jury:

Apologies for the obvious self-portrait. At least I didn't take an emo picture of myself in the mirror, à la MySpace. And here's a weird-ish picture that sort of shows the back of it and actually does utilize the mirror. Whoops:

I guess that's about it. I also guess this means that Real Life (capital R, capital L) is about to begin. Finishing Institute and the Happy List, cutting off all my hair... It's the end of one chapter and the start of a new one. Scary stuff, but I'm excited.

This might be my last post before Charlotte, though Chi wants me to put up maps as I take my drive across the country. I think she's probably also imagining me posing with small-town locals as I go eat Kentucky's best hot dogs and see the world's largest ball of twine (that's in Kansas, by the way). That would be fun... Stay tuned?

Hearts,
--amfm

Semi-Vegetative State, Day 4

Breaking News: Long-time readers (and/or people who know too much about me) will know that since the mysterious She's The Man disappearance of aught-eight (Steve Lin?!?), I have been scouring the globe for a replacement copy to purchase, of course keeping with my "No DVDs for more than $10" rule. Well, today I found one, so you all can let out that breath now.

Rock Band News: Astute observers will have deduced that I am, in fact, back in Kansas now. Hence the semi-vegetative state. Seriously, the most productive thing I have done has been to jury rig (yes, I spelled that right) our microphone and one of the guitars together for some sweet Rock Band action. I can only sing and play together on songs that I know well, so rest assured these walls have heard some great renditions of "Say It Ain't So." Rivers Cuomo '99-'06 would be proud. Or not.

Regardless of my skills (or lack thereof), I have a newfound respect for rock stars. And by "rock stars," I mean the real ones who play their own instruments and sing at the same time. That ish is HARD! Also, it was literally impossible for me to just stand there and sing/play. I had to move around and tap my toes and stuff. I looked ridiculous, to be sure, but I was all alone, so I guess it doesn't really matter! And yes, I did get into it and grab the mic and go all Steven Tyler on a few songs. It was pretty sweet.

Institute Wrap-Up: Final thoughts. Hmm. Am I glad it's over? Yes. Yes, I am. Do I miss parts of it? Yes, absolutely. Oh sure, there are parts I don't miss, can't miss, won't miss. But I met some really awesome people down there in Hot-lanta, and unfortunately many of them are not in the Charlotte corps. Some field trips to Jacksonville and Miami might be in order for the fall. They'll all be research trips, of course, so I can Continually Increase my Effectiveness! (For those un-indoctrinated, Continually Increasing Effectiveness is one of TFA's Core Values)

At Closing Ceremonies, the Managing Director of Institute asked us to think of one of our students from this summer, then to picture where he or she would be in ten years. I picked a student who is tremendously bright, but suffers from a lack of confidence, among other things. This is the student who told me that his former teacher said he wouldn't pass the CRCT (the test that moves them on to 6th grade) because "Mexicans can't do well on the test." He is the same student who asked me why George Bush hates Mexicans, which made me laugh for a solid fifteen seconds. "We don't have enough time to talk about that," I told him before diving back into Miltie Math-head, Football Hero. Anyway, this kid is just amazing. He spoke at our school assembly on the last day--the only kid picked to speak--and he had us all in tears because he was so genuine and so grateful.

So I picked him, and I thought about where he might be in ten years. That would make him 22, so maybe he's about to graduate from college? My co-teachers and I spent two mornings talking about our colleges, the stuff they offered, ways to get financial aid (everyone was blown away by Harvard's financial aid initiative--go Fausty!), etc. As my co-teacher Kris finished talking about her school, this kid's eyes brightened and he says, "I want to go there!" It was great. So as the Director of Institute asks us to picture our students' futures, this is what I'm imagining. Needless to say, it brings a smile to my face.

Then, instead of saying something along the lines of "You should be so proud! Look what you've done in only five weeks!" she says this: "I know we're all feeling the same thing: uncertainty. There is a great deal of uncertainty about this child's future. This is the uncertainty we all feel, and why we are in this program."

Huh.

On the one hand, I agree with that sentiment. Because of the schools that these kids will go to, because of pressures at home and from society, because they just got the short end of the stick in many cases, there is no telling where my bright young student will be in 10 years. College? Jail? They are perhaps equally likely. But come on! Where is the optimism? After 5 weeks of relentless work, where is that beacon of hope that says, "You've made a difference in this child's life"?? That's what I was looking for at Closing Ceremonies. That's what I feel was missing during a lot of Institute. Not always from the TFA bureaucrats, but from my fellow teachers. I constantly heard things like, "I can't believe so-and-so is in 5th grade. He's dumb. He can't read. He shouldn't move on." Pessimism confronted me at every turn--from one co-teacher in particular.

Look, people, these kids already have enough hardship on their plates. They don't need their teachers' disbelief added to the baggage society is already heaping on their shoulders. I know it's hard. I know there are immense challenges ahead. But if you for one second doubt your students' abilities to succeed, you are in the wrong job. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Miscellany:

• I know I said I would do a Happy List post today, July 15. However, it has come to my attention that said post must be pushed back at least until tomorrow. Stay tuned.
• My brother's blog is too clever for me to follow. But you should read it anyway, because it's hilarious. Also, he shouted me out in his first post, and McCallies stick together.
  
• Wall-E was really, really good.
  

Char-What?

Char-lotte!

I'm off to Charlotte to find a place to live. Wish me luck!

I've got to admit it's getting better...

... A little better all the time.

(It can't get much worse)