Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Semi-Vegetative State, Day 4

Breaking News: Long-time readers (and/or people who know too much about me) will know that since the mysterious She's The Man disappearance of aught-eight (Steve Lin?!?), I have been scouring the globe for a replacement copy to purchase, of course keeping with my "No DVDs for more than $10" rule. Well, today I found one, so you all can let out that breath now.

Rock Band News: Astute observers will have deduced that I am, in fact, back in Kansas now. Hence the semi-vegetative state. Seriously, the most productive thing I have done has been to jury rig (yes, I spelled that right) our microphone and one of the guitars together for some sweet Rock Band action. I can only sing and play together on songs that I know well, so rest assured these walls have heard some great renditions of "Say It Ain't So." Rivers Cuomo '99-'06 would be proud. Or not.

Regardless of my skills (or lack thereof), I have a newfound respect for rock stars. And by "rock stars," I mean the real ones who play their own instruments and sing at the same time. That ish is HARD! Also, it was literally impossible for me to just stand there and sing/play. I had to move around and tap my toes and stuff. I looked ridiculous, to be sure, but I was all alone, so I guess it doesn't really matter! And yes, I did get into it and grab the mic and go all Steven Tyler on a few songs. It was pretty sweet.

Institute Wrap-Up: Final thoughts. Hmm. Am I glad it's over? Yes. Yes, I am. Do I miss parts of it? Yes, absolutely. Oh sure, there are parts I don't miss, can't miss, won't miss. But I met some really awesome people down there in Hot-lanta, and unfortunately many of them are not in the Charlotte corps. Some field trips to Jacksonville and Miami might be in order for the fall. They'll all be research trips, of course, so I can Continually Increase my Effectiveness! (For those un-indoctrinated, Continually Increasing Effectiveness is one of TFA's Core Values)

At Closing Ceremonies, the Managing Director of Institute asked us to think of one of our students from this summer, then to picture where he or she would be in ten years. I picked a student who is tremendously bright, but suffers from a lack of confidence, among other things. This is the student who told me that his former teacher said he wouldn't pass the CRCT (the test that moves them on to 6th grade) because "Mexicans can't do well on the test." He is the same student who asked me why George Bush hates Mexicans, which made me laugh for a solid fifteen seconds. "We don't have enough time to talk about that," I told him before diving back into Miltie Math-head, Football Hero. Anyway, this kid is just amazing. He spoke at our school assembly on the last day--the only kid picked to speak--and he had us all in tears because he was so genuine and so grateful.

So I picked him, and I thought about where he might be in ten years. That would make him 22, so maybe he's about to graduate from college? My co-teachers and I spent two mornings talking about our colleges, the stuff they offered, ways to get financial aid (everyone was blown away by Harvard's financial aid initiative--go Fausty!), etc. As my co-teacher Kris finished talking about her school, this kid's eyes brightened and he says, "I want to go there!" It was great. So as the Director of Institute asks us to picture our students' futures, this is what I'm imagining. Needless to say, it brings a smile to my face.

Then, instead of saying something along the lines of "You should be so proud! Look what you've done in only five weeks!" she says this: "I know we're all feeling the same thing: uncertainty. There is a great deal of uncertainty about this child's future. This is the uncertainty we all feel, and why we are in this program."

Huh.

On the one hand, I agree with that sentiment. Because of the schools that these kids will go to, because of pressures at home and from society, because they just got the short end of the stick in many cases, there is no telling where my bright young student will be in 10 years. College? Jail? They are perhaps equally likely. But come on! Where is the optimism? After 5 weeks of relentless work, where is that beacon of hope that says, "You've made a difference in this child's life"?? That's what I was looking for at Closing Ceremonies. That's what I feel was missing during a lot of Institute. Not always from the TFA bureaucrats, but from my fellow teachers. I constantly heard things like, "I can't believe so-and-so is in 5th grade. He's dumb. He can't read. He shouldn't move on." Pessimism confronted me at every turn--from one co-teacher in particular.

Look, people, these kids already have enough hardship on their plates. They don't need their teachers' disbelief added to the baggage society is already heaping on their shoulders. I know it's hard. I know there are immense challenges ahead. But if you for one second doubt your students' abilities to succeed, you are in the wrong job. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Miscellany:
  • I know I said I would do a Happy List post today, July 15. However, it has come to my attention that said post must be pushed back at least until tomorrow. Stay tuned.
  • My brother's blog is too clever for me to follow. But you should read it anyway, because it's hilarious. Also, he shouted me out in his first post, and McCallies stick together.
  • Wall-E was really, really good.

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